Since I started losing my hair and wearing wigs, I’ve connected with dozens of women who are going through the same thing. I am lucky enough to have a loving boyfriend who has stuck by my side throughout this entire ordeal (and he’s got a full head of hair, plus a mountain man beard – the lucky bastard!) but many women dealing with these issues are single. I’m constantly hearing concerns about the dating scene. “How will I ever find a man who’s attracted to me when I’m bald/balding?” “When is the right time to tell my partner about my hair loss/wigs?” “How do I keep my boyfriend from touching my hair?” The list goes on and on.
Some may consider me a hypocrite for even commenting on this issue, since I’m already in a relationship and never had to deal with the dating scene while wearing wigs, but I feel that gives me a neutral, outside perspective about this. Ladies – your wig is a blessing when it comes to finding a man! Seriously. I have a point here. Just stick with me for a little bit.
I know… you’re probably raising your eyebrows and saying “Yeah, right.” But I’m serious. You have an advantage that most women don’t. You have a surefire, bulletproof way of weeding out all the superficial jerks and players. And that’s why you need to tell your man that you wear wigs, like, immediately. Yup.
No, it’s not going to be easy, and no, you shouldn’t necessarily do it on your first date, a la this Vine:
…but, you should literally do it as soon as possible. I can’t even count the reasons on one hand. If he goes to kiss you and reaches to touch your hair, you’re in for a bad time. You’re going to be constantly living in a realm of fear and paranoia, nervous he’s going to notice something is weird about your hairline or something. God forbid you actually sleep over at his place and have to figure out what to do with your “hair.”
But most of all, you have literally nothing to gain from keeping it inside! Why are you afraid? Are you afraid it’s going to make him less attracted to you? Guess what. If it does, it’s a good thing. Because if it wasn’t the wig, it would have been when you gained 30 pounds after your first kid, or when you turned 50 and your wrinkles got out of control. A superficial man is a superficial man, and if you tell a superficial man your secret early enough, you can toss him to the curb way before you had anything to lose. Many women do not find out if their partner has unrealistic demands for beauty until it’s way too late. Thanks to your hair loss, you’re empowered with a tool to discover this very early on. If only all women were so lucky! Wink.
So yes, I think you should tell your partner ASAP. You’re only hurting yourself by hiding it. And if it affects your man in a negative way, you’re dodging a major bullet. Chances are, you’ve probably got good taste and your partner will love you just the same. But if not, he is not someone you want to be with anyway, because you deserve someone who will love you, accept you, and think you are beautiful just the way you are.
Best of luck to all you single ladies, and just remember… secrets don’t make friends!